I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it's like heaven, but drunker
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
