With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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