I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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