my sisters under your porch take her home
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
