i just wanna soil my oats bro
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
