i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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