You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
