You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
