I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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