we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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