Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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