You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You made out with two different species that night
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
