I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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