No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
