im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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