careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
