OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
