FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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