my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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