The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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