Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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