Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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