On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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