Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
