When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
