me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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