On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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