2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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