I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
