She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize