I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
