its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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