Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
