toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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