I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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