she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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