Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
