we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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