i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
