Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
