im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
They have beer where we have blood.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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