She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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