did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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