This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
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HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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