Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
