okay pat passed out under dana's car
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
