his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
