It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
