So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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