so explain again why im purple
no
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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