What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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