Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
