yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
