Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
