I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
