Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
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