It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We have so much sex to catch up on
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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