lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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