Pappa wants mamma naked
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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